Here is an excerpt from that article:

Young, gorgeous, successful – and single. For Christine Kitching, 24, Auckland’s “man drought,” is not a vague concept, but a reality.

The high-flying Air New Zealand Fashion Week administrator told the Herald on Sunday single men were hard to find in the City of Sails – “they’re either gay or married.”

Unfortunately, the remaining bachelor pool presented what Kitching denounced as a “very limited selection”.

Successful and ambitious Kiwi women looking for a love match were hard-pressed to find “manly men” said Kitching.

“It’s a running joke among my single friends, the man-drought.”

One of the main problems with available men she’d met was that they were easily “intimidated” by strong, career-driven women.

“I don’t put up with crap,” she said. “But the men in Auckland are too soft. They are all so ‘emo’.

“I haven’t yet found a really rugged man who is not going to spend more time in the bathroom than I do, or use my hair straighteners.”

This article is one of hundreds that come across my desk on a weekly basis.  A recent book called “The Retrosexual Manual” by David Beasley, an Australian nonetheless, explores this topic of men returning to manliness.  It was featured in many articles, but this one from the LA Times did it best when they tied it into the amazing TV show, Mad Men.  (check my take on this manliest of shows)

We are witnessing a (relatively) silent revolution back to manliness.  For years, being called a Metrosexual meant fighting words for many men.  Then, subtly, things changed.  Men began embracing their feminine side.  Spending tons of time in the bathroom, getting haircuts every couple of weeks, manicures, pedicures (holy crap!) and all kinds of other acts to push us men further towards a unisex mentality.

By the late 90′s, the man’s man and old-timing manliness was dead.  Now, it’s rearing its stubbly, Old-Spice smelling head back to mainstream.  And people are talking about it.

This silent mutiny is one that everyone wants – men and women both.  Metrosexuals, in my opinion, were a fabrication of the consumer society that existed here in America for the last 30 years.  Attitudes shifted from manliness and being men to the effiminate male in constant search for his softer side.

Nobody really to blame.  Women liked it as they were gaining the respect and admiration they deserved for so long.  Men liked it because it gave them permission to do certain things.  Men also thought this was exactly what women wanted.

What Women Want

And here we are, at the epicenter of the debate.  Men succumbed to metrosexual tendencies in the attempt to figure out what women really want from their men.  In reality, at first men only cared about getting laid and gaining more power.  Then it took over what was normal for being a man.

My Dad said it best.  “Kevin, I love women.  I love everything about them.  But don’t think for one second, ever, that you know what women are thinking.”  So, if Dad was right, why are men trying so hard to figure it out?

We do so because the women in our lives (and the kind of women we want in our lives in the future) is so important to us men.  We love our women and want to do them right, but men, in general, have gone too far in this quest.  The overthinking of this timeless puzzle has pushed men to do things that are not terribly natural to them.

So, here we are.  The great experiment which is metrosexuality has failed.  Men, and women, are not happy with the present state of affairs.  Yes, we have evolved to be more sensitive and thoughtful to equality and respect.  That is a step in the right direction.  But the idea of men acting more womanlike in order to relate with them on a level to figure out what they are thinking – that idea is under attack and many people, including the young Ms. Kitching, will welcome the Return To Manliness.

50% Off Sale! Get $25 gift certificates for just $5, use code COLOR at checkout. This code expires on August 19th!
Free Shipping on Men's Shoes @ Shoebuy.com!


Interesting Reflection: Man Drought Is Fact Of Dating Life

Vincent Vega says”I have given a million different women foot massages and they all meant something.  We act like it doesn’t mean anything but it does.  That is what is so cool about it.”  Or something to that affect.  The point is that if you don’t think it is important, think again.

Look, it matters.  For a man, the art of giving a good foot massage is the same as being able to hook up stereo speakers, work a barbecue, or shotgun a beer.  All are traits that are inate to being a man.  Even if we don’t know exactly how to do all those, we damn well better be able to fake our way through em.

Over at The Seduction Bible site, they posted a terrific video on tips and tricks to performing a memorable foot massage.  They do a fine job explaining the erotic side of the act and give wonderful advice for the beginner.  There isn’t in depth training going on here, just the basics and that is really all you need to get started. You can learn more advanced techniques at

Some broad based pointers found in that video and others they may have missed:

Set the mood. This is not necessary, but it can be very effective if you are looking for this foot massage to lead to something else.  Use a pillow to support her legs and a towel underneath to catch any excess lotion or oils (and you better be using lotion or oil).   Play some soft music in the background to help take her mind off of everything else.  Candles are always a good idea an if you want to get nuts, you can even add some scented candles.

Use lotion or oil. As I mentioned, all good foot massages use lotion or oil.  You can try it without them for an impromptu massage, but if even if you have just a few minutes to spare, grab something that will make your hands glide over the skin with the greatest of ease.  Remember, that lotion or oil better be warmed in your hands first or you will lose some of your desired affect of the massage.

Apply deep, hard pressure. No one has ever gotten injured giving a foot massage and if they had, they were doing something wrong and deserved it.  People are ticklish on their feet.  The harder you press, the more you will avoid the awkward tickling.  Deep hard pressure is more sensual as well.  This will merely intensify the reaction you get from her by working out all those pesky knots from standing all day.

Listen to her reactions. This is very important.  She will give you clues as to when something hurts or when to move on to another part of the massage.  Remember, I know this one is difficult for you guys, but the massage is about her needs and desires.  She has to be satisfied and if she needs a little more attention in a few areas, give it.

Work through the leg and ankle. This is part of the entire package.  Work the ankles and the lower legs.  Remember to make sure to be careful around the Achilles tendon.  This is a very sensitive area and should be treated with great care.  Rotate the ankles in a circular motion like a stretch.  Once you have applied some oil and let it work into her skin a little, you will hear all kinds of cracks and crinkles…followed by a very familiar moan of pleasure that comes with relieving all kinds of stress.

Work the toes. Use finesse when working the finer points of the massage.  Do not over apply pressure in this area as you could do some damage.  Rub your fingers through all the crevasses and nooks to make sure all parts of the foot get touched.

Support the weight of their foot. You will lose ALL kinds of points for letting her lift her own weight when you are giving her this greatest gift.  Use a pillow over your lap if you get tired, but never lose track that you have to be an active participant in making her feel good with this.  You carry all the weight of her foot.

Standing on our feet all day long will add all kinds of stress in our lives, let alone the physical toll it takes on our bodies.  Wanna give your special lady a gift that costs nothing, but means just about everything, give her a foot massage she will request again and again.

Next time you are sitting in front the television hanging out, ask her if she wants a foot massage.  Play close attention to her face lighting up and her intense arousal at the thought of what will come next.

Finally, skip the flowers and chocolates.  The good writers over at The Simple Dollar, Frugal Dad and Being Frugal.net should all love this idea as one of the best FREE gifts you could ever give your partner.  There is nothing that you get so much from for so little effort.

If you liked this article, please support me with a Digg or a Stumble.  Thanks for reading!

50% Off Sale! Get $25 gift certificates for just $5, use code COLOR at checkout. This code expires on August 19th!
Free Shipping on Men's Shoes @ Shoebuy.com!


How To Give An Erotic And Intense Foot Massage

Then, out of the blue, they decided to drop a dookie in the pool when they cited a recent blog post that referred to an India Times article discussing a new trend of “heartbreak” leave for employees that have recently broken up with a partner and need time to cry it out.

What? Check it again…that doesn’t sound right.

Well, smack me in the ass and call me Sally – it’s right. The company, a Japanese firm called Hime and Company based in Tokyo, offered those who had broken up with their partners one day off per year if they were younger than 24 years and two days off if they were between 25 and 29 years. Those older were eligible for three days off to ‘cry their hearts out and return to work refreshed’. It really reminded of another great post by The Art Of Manliness on when crying is manly.

I know us Americans tend to be all work and no play when compared to our counterparts in Europe and other places around the globe, but this sounds a little obsessive to me. No one died. No one is sick. Just a “broken heart” causing some pain will be enough to claim some time away from work. I see all kinds of issues that need to be explored here.

Implementation by the employer has to be near impossible. Even if you grant this leave without any questions asked, how do you know it is being used for the purpose it was intended? What if an employee abuses the perk in February and then has a real relationship crisis (not sure there is one, but I’ll play along) in November that causes the heartache to get in the way of your job duties. The perk is already used up and that employee now has to come into work while they are all “broken up inside?” How do you implement this?

Confusion of when to use the perk will haunt the employee. My head is already spinning with the risk of emotional disaster of not knowing when I really need to use the time off. I am not sure what would qualify as heartbreak leave. Do you have to prove anything? Could I have used this time when my beloved Pistons lost to the Celtics this year? What about us married guys? If the wife decides to kick me out of bed one night for breaking the Dutch Oven rule, can I authorize the free time? Also, the unabated opportunity of abuse is endless (on second thought, love the idea…sign me up).

Raising the stakes is another issue. What is next? If this perk has to be offered to woo employees, then the dot com era of insane perks is on its way back. Next, you will be revisiting the lovable “bring your dog to work day” and the endless Nutrigrain bars in the coffee room available for your feasting.

Finally, real men not only have to baulk at something like this, they have to fight against this atrocity. This screams of the return of the softy (men and women alike). As we move away from metrosexual man to the retrosexual man, I can tell you that this would not fly in the old days. Could you imagine your father, or even worse your grandfather, showing up for their 12 hour workday down at the factory or mill and telling their boss they need time off to mourn a break up with their girl? And no, this is not evolution in getting in touch with our feelings. That is so 90′s….

Tell me what you think! Good idea (since you are just minutes away from watching another episode of Dr. Phil and crying at the end) or bad idea (since you would like to kick Dr. Phil in the beans)?

50% Off Sale! Get $25 gift certificates for just $5, use code COLOR at checkout. This code expires on August 19th!
Free Shipping on Men's Shoes @ Shoebuy.com!


“I Just Broke Up With My Girlfriend. I Am Taking Some Time Off.”

The article uses one of the most effective writing techniques known. He puts you completely into state of mind and takes us men right to the moment where it matters most for any man between the ages of 18 and 50.

He drops a huge bucket of cold water on you about 1/4 of the way through but it is perfect timing. There’s no extraordinarily long wait to get to the point of his article. When you are at the moment where it counts the most, you are naked and in front of her, how will she view you?

It does not matter if you are single or happily married – the better shape you are in the better her perception of you as a lover will be. There is absolutely no arguing this point. Are there exceptions to this rule? Of course. But for as a general rule of thumb, Brad is right on target. And as a matter of opinion, my guess is that it is even more important to us married guys. Single guys can just move on when expectations don’t meet performance. Married guys have to make sure they keep the candle lit over the course of the marriage.

Brad says that in his PUA world of speaking to women, there are three things that come to the forefront when talking about the moment of sex and when you are sitting there naked in front of her:

“Number 1: Most men that are ashamed of their bodies tend to be more TIMID in bed. They tend to lay on top of women, instead of pulling back… letting her see ALL OF YOU… including the “action” of your pecker moving in and out.

Number 2: Every man that they’ve been with that gets in better shape becomes a MUCH better lover overall. The “man” and his “skillz” are the same… but her perception changes… as well as…

Number 3: Men that are in shape can DO MORE for LONGER than their out of shape counterparts. Lifting, moving, throwing, thrusting, etc… you get the drift.”

What Brad left out was the best. He did NOT go into the “7 steps of getting into shape” or the “13 key points to keeping up your motivation during workouts”. Nope, he ends the article the way any moving and inspiration piece should end – he simply asks the question “How would those thoughts change if I was now built like a Greek God?” Action…Inspirational…Ultimatum…Personal…

The point of this article was to get you off your a$$ and into the gym. The point was to make certain that the question never enters her mind when you are at the moment. The point was to motivate and shock you into action.

Point taken…What a great article…

(One more time…if you have not read the article, go read it now)

50% Off Sale! Get $25 gift certificates for just $5, use code COLOR at checkout. This code expires on August 19th!
Free Shipping on Men's Shoes @ Shoebuy.com!


Are You Afraid Of Being Naked?

First of all, we all want to be Vincent-like.  Not exactly like him, but his ninja-like verbal ease is second to none and we all want to emulate his confidence.

Now, there are hundreds of PUA (Pick Up Artist) experts with unique styles for picking up a woman.  I address them in detail in other posts, but my immediate focus is on conversation we can use on the upcoming first date or first encounter – beyond the the pick up stage.

Speaking to a woman can be easy. Most of us, though, struggle with this EXTREMELY important skill all our lives.  Some are Vincent- like and we want to be like him. We want ways of conversation to flow from our being and make it effortless.

But most men will never achieve this legendary coolness, but we do need help getting some of the way there – especially on that first date. Remember, the key to success in this area is one of the key manliness traits: Try To Be Interesting, But Always Be Interested. The other manliness trait: Treat The Person Who Is Speaking As The Most Important Person In The Room, is also an important one.

Here is a decent list of first timers and I am sure you can come up with plenty more.

Avoid her past!
A real man would never ask about past lovers or past personal stuff on a first date. This should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). You want her to start with a clean slate. You want her to know that you are what all men should be – forget about the ones that broke her heart or made her felt used. You want her to focus on the here and now.

Traveled anywhere special?
I love this one to fire up a girl’s interest. Asking her about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future will help put her into a VERY good state of mind. Don’t offer to take her away next weekend to the place she mentions – this will only make you look somewhat stalker-like. Simply look for common ground and this will keep the conversation going for a long time.

Got any brothers or sisters?
A safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings. Shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t ask her if she has any cute sisters. Also, stay away from asking about her parents, unless she brings up the topic. There are all kinds of ways this could backfire. Sisters and brothers, though, usually trigger good feelings and score points for you since you’re showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.

What are you drinking? What else do you like?
A topic of conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drinks she likes. Feeding a woman and providing for her is not only chivalrous, but also a key to getting the blood pumping. For a lot of women, good food and drink is an aphrodisiac and a good topic of conversation. Potential topics here are endless.

Tell me a little about your friends.
Asking her about her friends is awesome. We know she could talk about her friends all night. It’s easy, comfortable and safe. She will love to tell you about her circle, how much they mean to her and where she met them (and all of the things they do together).

Any career plans?
Asking a girl about her education and what she intends on discovering next in her professional life can backfire, but it’s mostly safe. She might love to go on and on about her numerous achievements, but she also might break down and admit that her current job sucks and is not what she wants to be doing long-term. In either case, the man is provided with a golden opportunity to reassure and encourage with an abundance of compliments.

How’s your job?
Don’t let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life – this is a buzz kill. Just show her you are interested and you can relate. If she loves her job, then you will have plenty of discussion in front you. If she hates it, then talk about great she is and changing things are certain to be easy.

What do you like to do in your free time?
Does she have any hobbies? Does she like to work out? What the hell does she do to stay so freaking hot? (use that one cautiously and sparingly) What about sports? What kind of music does she like? Does she like to shop? What are some of her favorite stores? All of these can lead to hours of good stuff, but again, you must show you are genuinely interested.

What do you like to do on the weekends?
This one is the best. The weekends define who we are and if we were to have a bunch of free time, exactly how we would chose to spend it. Stay away from hypothetical’s and dreaming. Focus on the hobbies and how to “recharge the batteries”.

Be bold and look ahead
After you have spent a few hours demonstrating to her you can listen and you have genuine interest, look for the body language that invites you to step up. If positive, talk about what would be cool the next time you get together. You don’t want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she’s enjoying herself, chances are she’ll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.

As a man, take charge of your time with her. This is a turn on for women. They want to know you can handle yourself in any situation and simple conversation is one of those. Talking and conversation is considered foreplay for women and you need to be prepared in order to be successful.

50% Off Sale! Get $25 gift certificates for just $5, use code COLOR at checkout. This code expires on August 19th!
Free Shipping on Men's Shoes @ Shoebuy.com!


Top 10 First Date Conversations

David Wygant wrote this excellent post on phone rules in dating. David is one of those PUA (Pick Up Artist) bloggers I feel are a joke, but he is a classy alternative who simply just wants to help us guys be more successful with women.  His comparison to the business world is spot on.  I just wonder why so many of us lose our brains when it comes to cellphone use in this manner.

My take on the 5 rules – Return To Manliness style.

5 PHONE RULES THAT MEN SHOULD FOLLOW WHEN DATING

Be Prompt When They’re Prompt
The experts say if a woman calls you within 24 hours, you should give them the same courtesy. Don’t play games.  Waiting around to make her “want you more”.  Don’t be that guy.  There will be plenty of time to show how much of an a$$hole you can be – but later.  Be a gent and be courteous – call her back to give her something to tell her friends about.

Men who have the most success always give women their full attention and respect. It’s not only the right thing, but works the best – usually a cornerstone in manliness.

Look, everyone is busy.  You do NOT have to call everyone back the second you get the message. It’s not game playing – it’s life.  But call back in a timely fashion and don’t give the rest of us good guys a bad name.

If They Waited, You May Also Wait
Men want control of the situation and especially their time. If the woman has decided to slow down, you need to oblige.  Coming across too strong or needy does indeed make you look weak.

And there is nothing worse for your chances with her than looking weak in this regard.  Vulnerable, women love.  Weak, I’m pissed to even think about it.

It’s OK To Call Back Right Away
David nails this one. Don’t buy the hype from the jackholes residing in crazytown. It does NOT look desperate to call her back right away. If you like her and the feeling is mutual, then communicate it.

Tell her you’re not smart enough to play the games and you knew she didn’t have time for that crap as well.  Tell her the game-playing is for the normal dating, but she is worth being treated different – yup, that completely works.  Essentially, be a freaking man about it.

You Can’t Manipulate Someone Into Liking You
Well, not always true.  I like the concept, but its OK to manipulate someone into liking you from time to time. Successful people have done this for years and will continue.

Is it produce long-term results? No.  But if you are just dating and know its going to be a short-term thing, go for it.  Does this play with her/his feelings? yes, but again, that’s life. I don’t like it anymore than the next good guy, but it happens and many times we do it without even knowing it.

Being Busy Is No Excuse
No crap!  We are all multi-tasking nowadays and being “too busy” just says you’re a dick.  Sometimes, it can work as a reason, but do it at your own risk.

Not an exhaustive list of ensuring your cellphone habits for dating works, but at least follow these and give yourself the best chance possible.

50% Off Sale! Get $25 gift certificates for just $5, use code COLOR at checkout. This code expires on August 19th!
Free Shipping on Men's Shoes @ Shoebuy.com!


5 Phone Rules In Dating Everyone Ought To Know