Some are icons that are still in pop culture today, while others were meant for one-time appearances – only to be remembered for their legend. All have the stuff men love to watch on the big screen.

The criteria for the list is simple. You will find many famous hitmen (and some women) left off this list. As with every list-type post, there is always the obvious omission.

No women hitmen. I can’t think of one real life woman who I would be afraid of face to face. When I think of real life hitmen, Bugsy Siegel, Meyer Lansky, and anyone from Murder Inc. during the Capone days is front and center. This is definitely a man’s occupation. Nikita and Maggie Hayward (Point Of No Return) would have made the cut, but we are sticking with the men this time out.

Some manliness or redeeming value. These characters have to come with some manliness quotient we can talk about. It can’t just be about killing ALL the time. That would lead to falling short on the third criteria…

The movie can’t suck. Any hitman movie featuring Sylvester Stallone is off this list. He peaked during Rocky and First Blood (the first one). All his hitmen movies pretty much were crap. Also, if the hitman is just wasting people all over the place for no reason whatsoever, then the movie sucks and it also doesn’t meet the forth criteria…

Professionals only. Pro’s kill for cash or some other reason that seems worthwhile in a screwed up kinda way. Therefore, you will not see loose cannons on this list or guys who go around wasting people just to waste them – even though it may look like that at times. No, they always have a reason which makes them pro’s.

The reputation must precede them. This one is important. They need to be feared. When the other patsy’s in the flick hear their name, they pee their pants since they know they are about to get whacked. Luca Brasi would have made this list, but we never saw the guy waste anyone. Everyone knew though, that when Don Corleone sent Luca, you were finished.

On to the list.

15. Bill & The Bride (Kill Bill)

The Bride would have been on this list alone in not for the criteria. Uma Thurman wasted so many people in this movie, they’re still looking for the bodies. Bill, her mentor and father of her child, was so feared in this movie, they needed a special sword to kill him.

Where’s the manliness? Freaking David Carradine as Bill is where’s the manliness. The only thing the Kung Fu master didn’t do is live in this movie. He gets whacked by The Bride, rightfully so, in her quest to kill all those who killed her. She is the best assassin he ever trained and the student ended up taking out the teacher.

14. Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (The Whole Nine Yards)

Bruce Willis, in all his roles, has this quality that puts him just a few seconds away from another brilliant comedic line. This flick is a comedy and hence Willis is at his best. He is feared, loathed, admired, rich, sought after, and downright neighborly as The Tulip. Besides, how cool is it to be nicknamed The Tulip?

Where’s the manliness? Jimmy wants to retire and settle down away from all the nonsense. In the end, instead of killing his wife, he let’s her live since she has fallen in love with Chandler Bing, I mean Oz (Mathew Perry). He also gives his ex-wife and Perry a bunch of cash to live their life in style as Jimmy has fallen in love as well.

13. Michael Sullivan Jr (Road To Perdition)

Any movie with Tom Hanks is manly. This guy is great and one of the best actors of our time to boot. After he’s betrayed by gangster family he works for, Michael completely starts wiping out the people that betrayed him. The family, the Rooney’s, want him dead, so Michael, out of revenge and self-preservation, kills every last person on his list. How did the Rooney’s betray him, they tried killing him and in the process killed his entire family, except for his little boy, Michael Jr. His little boy, by the way, has to see what his Dad does for a living as Michael Sr. goes about his business.

Where’s the Manliness? It becomes clear Michael knows that his line of work sucks. He has to kill people in front of his kid and try to explain why the rest of his family is now dead. He has regret for his actions, but knows he has to do whatever it takes to protect his remaining family. He will stop at nothing. He regrets every second of his profession as he watches his son watch him do his thing.

12. Martin Q. Blank (Gross Point Blank)

Near my hometown, Gross Point, Michigan is the setting for this comedy/drama. The movie is excellent, but not meant to be that believable. John Cusack as Martin Blank is a neurotic hit-man who spends all his time brooding about death, the meaning of life and the pointlessness of existence. He has all kinds of interesting quirks and mannerisms that make his endless stream of witty dialogue that much better. Tons of other big name people in the movie as well.

Where’s the manliness? John Cusack is epic in this film. He finally discovers how much he loves his high school sweetheart and tells her so – while saving her ridiculously stupid father in the process. Minnie Driver is also VERY hot in this flick. Her innocence just drives us men crazy while Blank goes about whacking people out of self preservation and for cash as needed.

11. Julian Noble (The Matador)

Pierce Brosnan is an excellent hitman. He doesn’t live anywhere, always hanging for a while in the place where he whacks his next victim. He only kills when paid and has all kinds of fun in the place where he does it. Brosnan is so freaking cool, you completely look past his character flaws and root for him every second of the way.

Where’s the manliness? Julian has guilt and regret. He wants out of the business so bad after wasting so many people that he literally breaks down in tears. By the end of the movie, he completely understands the importance of having a friend he can count on – that would do anything for him.

10. T-800 (The Terminator)

The Governator played in other movies that made him famous early on, like Conan The Barbarian, but this movie made him a megastar. His 12 lines in the first movie is all anyone could really take from him, but he needed no more. Arnold was made to play this role as a cyborg from the future brought back to kill John Conner. This movie has made it into our lexicon, our history and is a classic that will be viewed as such for years to come.

Where’s the manliness? It’s Arnold. Arnold is one the manliest guys in our time. He doesn’t care about what you think, he’ll just waste you if you don’t agree. In this movie, he’s the bad guy, but in the sequels, he shows he knows compassion while still kicking ass all along the way.

9. James Bond (Anything with Sean Connery)

The other Bond guys were good (especially Brosnan), but Connery is the original. I think there was another guy before him, but who cares. James Bond is still as popular today as back then. Daniel Craig reinvented the character and makes Bond look cool again after several years of pretty crappy Bond experiences. Connery was as elegant and cool as anyone who ever graced a movie set. He still is.

Where’s the manliness? Bond. James Bond. Name me another guy who could pull off sleeping with anyone he wanted, killing anyone he wanted, and still look as freaking good doing it as Connery did as James Bond.

8. Tony Montana (Scarface)

Before becoming the king of cocaine, Tony had to cut his teeth as a hired killer. He had to show the bosses he was worthwhile of their good graces by being as ruthless as anyone before him. Montana makes this list for two reasons: 1) Al Pacino; 2) the shower scene; and 3) “Say ello to my little friend”.

Where’s the manliness? Over the top manliness gets you nowhere in my book, but Tony Montana pulled it off. He was a slimy punk trying to make a name for himself by being as crude, obnoxious, and unprofessional as he could get. But he pulled it off. Did I mention Al Pacino?

7. Mr. Goodkat (Lucky Number Slevin)

Our only two-timer on this list, Bruce Willis is as cool as it gets. This movie is awesome with all kinds of twists and drama. You never know what is going to happen next and who is really the good guy or bad guy. The only thing you know is Mr. Goodkat is the baddest man alive and if he pays you a visit, it’s over. Willis played another hitman as The Jackal, but criteria #3 says the movie could not suck – so we had to keep this one off the list.

Where’s the manliness? Mr. Goodkat allows his backstabbing pupil, Josh Hartnett, to live at the end. He recognizes his pupil is in love and decides, even though Josh lied to him about her death, he has to let it go. Something that probably cost him his life in a sequel that will never get produced.

6. Vincent (Collateral)

Vincent, Tom Cruise, likes to do several hits in a single night, forcing a taxi driver to shuttle him around; then, at the end of the night, he’ll kill the cabbie and pin the murders on him, making his own killing spree look like it came from someone who simply lost it. The chauffeur, Max (Jamie Foxx), tries to save himself and the remaining names on Vincent’s to-do list.

Where’s the manliness? Vincent loves live Jazz and that is probably enough. Live jazz is a cornerstone to manliness. He also knows the importance of family with his unscheduled visit to Max’s ailing mother.

5. Leon (The Professional)

Leon is a complete loner. He is most skillful and deadly at what he does and his solitude is probably what makes him so professional. His solitude comes to an end, though, when he takes in the neighbor orphaned girl whose family was just wasted by corrupt cops. He reluctantly trains her to be a professional, which is pretty silly but still is OK, all the while knowing he is going to have to deal with the corrupt cops at some point.

Where’s the manliness? His one rule – “No women or children”. This alone keeps him the consummate professional at his job. He also shows amazing compassion by taking in the little girl that was sure to die at the hands of crazy.

4. Keyser Soze (The Usual Suspects)

Kevin Spacey turns in one of the best performances of his career. The most amazing twist we never saw coming in any movie, ever. The plot is believable and the directing really makes this movie an instant classic. The suspects turn gang of thieves all give great performances, but in the end, they were all brought together for the betterment of Keyser Soze. If a guy like this existed, we would never know about him.

Where’s the manliness? When Kujan, the DEA agent, realizes he’s been duped, it’s the most amazing feeling. I get chills just thinking of the brilliance of Spacey as he gets in the car and drives away at the end of the movie. Also, this movie delivers one of the greatest lines in all of film, “the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” Instant manliness.

3. Jason Bourne (The Jason Bourne Trilogy)

These three movies are all about Matt Damon trying to find out who he really is. He gets amnesia after whacking all kinds of people as the greatest of all hitmen. Then goes on a self-preservation reign of terror to find out what he is. Action packed and full of drama, these movies will all be watched by our grandkids someday – all wanting to have those skills.

Where’s the manliness? There isn’t a guy around that doesn’t dream of having Bourne-like skills. He speaks about a dozen languages, knows everything there is to know about electronics, can kill you with his pinky, and has a conscious. What else could a guy ask for?

2. Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega (Pulp Fiction)

Probably the best of movie of all time. The directing and dialogue in this movie make it what it is. Witty, scary, insane scenes, tense situations, and diversion of timeline are all key aspects to its greatness. The two main characters (besides of course Willis, again) are hitmen. They show incredible humanness all throughout. Jules is trying to become a better person while Vincent is just well-read, intense, and loyal hitman. The predicaments they get themselves into and the characters that add to the drama are priceless.

Where’s the manliness? Jules and Vincent are both intellectuals. Vincent seems to have a penchant for the finer things in life and Jules is a philosopher. They both are consummate professionals and their dialogue with each other is second to none. The opening scene and closing scene are great indications of their intellectual depth along with their willingness to be men by telling the other one get f%#ked.

1. Anton Chigurh (No Country For Old Men)

Either you loved it or hated it. This was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Anton is one of the best characters I’ve ever witnessed. The symbolism and depth of this seemingly simple plot is what makes it so strong. Chigurh is the ruthless hitman painfully trying to recover drug money for his employer. When his employer doesn’t trust him to do his job, he goes and whacks him too. The plot is a simple cat and mouse chase with twists and turns along the way, but it’s the acting and directing that make the simple chase as epic as one ever told.

Where’s the manliness? Chigurh is pure evil. He is emotionless and ruthless, yet he practices his craft with undeniable precision. He seems amused by human nature, but never allows it to get in the way of killing. His dedication to his profession is what makes him so enjoyable. As a way to allow people to escape his wrath, he allows a coin flip to determine their destiny. This is only when he doesn’t have to kill someone. If he does have to kill them, then no coin flip. His ability to show compassion is only left up to chance. This, by itself is not manly, but his character is so freaking cool, he had to be made number 1.

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Baddest, Manliest, Most Feared, On Screen Hitmen Of Our Time

As I was running down the schedule my next couple of weeks of 3:00 AM TV watching, I really wanted to make sure I was taking in all the right events. If I was caught watching Equestrian while chomping through my Arugula salad while waiting in dire anticipation for women’s table tennis to start, it would be the end of me.

No, I needed to map out exactly when there was a good chance I would see blood or some guy soil himself from the shear pain of his event. In order to fill the manly quota for the month, we need to see carnage and what better time than the Olympics to do so.

Here are the manliest summer Olympic sporting events where there is a good chance you might see someone pass out – including yourself.

7) Men’s Gymnastics

These guys are in ridiculous physical shape. They wear tights and are all 5 foot 3 inches which put them at the bottom of this list, but they are included since they can do things the manliest of normal men would pee themselves trying. The shear insanity of the Pommel Horse to one’s manhood is enough to make me cry just at the thought of something going wrong – and you know these guys are not wearing cups. Think about the other events – floor exercise; still rings; vault; parallel bars and high bar. Can’t think of one where if something goes wrong, there isn’t severe carnage. Remember the guy who missed the vault springboard and ended up going full steam face first? That was awesome…

6) Weightlifting

These guys (and gals that look like guys) can lift amounts over their heads only matched by ants. Seriously, an ant’s prowess in this area is unbelievable (look it up). The dead-lift; clean and jerk; and snatch (not making that one up) are all disciplines in this event. Every time I watch it, I sit patiently anticipating the next knee-buckling attempt at a new world record. Someday, the weight will be too much for the arms to handle and you will see an arm come off like the good old days of SNL – it’ll happen, I know it.

5) Wrestling

Either Greco Roman or Freestyle, you will see some serious manliness here. There is always some Russian guy or some farmboy that goes to the perennial wrestling college, Iowa University, that hasn’t lost in like 5 years. They go on to win the gold easily and in the process, show off the massive cauliflower ears they have cultivated over the years. They also are all in pretty much ridiculous physical shape as well – except for that Rulon guy that beat that Russian a few years back.

4) TaeKwonDo

I am sure not all are impressed with this pick, but watch the video (make sure to turn off the cheesy sound) and you will see how AWESOME this is. Almost always, some guy is getting his head removed from his body by a roundhouse from some other guy from Asia. The flexibility is phenomenal and there is plenty of action. They could make this a little manlier by not forcing them to wear the headgear, but someone would die – seriously.

3) Decathlon

These guys participate in 10 body numbing events over a period of just two freaking days. It finishes up with the 1500 meters (1 mile for us Americans) and almost invariably has one of the participants on the verge of soiling themselves from exhaustion. The winner is usually stumbling across the line looking for the first patch of grass they can find to collapse onto.

2) Boxing

Nothing more manly than the art of pugilism at the highest level (with the exception of #1 on this list). The competitors are up and coming stars of the sport and have left some of the most incredible Olympic moments carved in our brain. The Greeks and Romans introduced this event in the Ancient Olympic Games by wrapping leather around the hands of the competitors. The event would not be over until either the other guy conceded or did not get up from getting pummeled. Ahhhh, the good old days…

1) Men’s 100 Meter Run

Besides for the most infamous star in Olympic History, Ben Johnson, this event gives us the fastest man alive. Think about that for a moment – the fastest man alive. There is arguably not a better title to have. This is all about raw, unadulterated speed. Nothing less than 10 seconds of perfection. If you watch it, there will be about an hour of nothing leading up to the event, 2 minutes of your heart pumping like it wants to flop out of your chest, and then INCREDIBLE action!

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Manliest Summer Olympic Sporting Events

The idea was formed watching, yet again, the incredible movie Birdcage. When the directors of the movie were able to get Gene Hackman, one of the manliest of men, to dress up as a woman, the topic gained momentum.

The criteria: 1) Men who have exhibited manliness and considered manly in their profession; 2) it was for a job, event or promotion – not just because; and 3) the act had to receive notoriety. Finally, under no circumstance, shall any cross-dressing by a man be tolerated unless done for comedic relief.

On to the disturbing performances…

Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie set the standard for men dressing up in drag. Dustin Hoffman is truly one of the great actors of our time and has many traits that exhibit manliness. He just went off course in this flick. He poses as a woman to get work (not too bad) and then falls in love with another woman actress. He has to keep up the charade, though, to hold his job as he is courting Jessica Lang’s character, the female star of the show. Of course, the realistic story of two older guys past their prime falling in love with Hoffman’s drag character makes this performance the classic that it is.

Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire is yet another classic performance. Robin Williams, similar to real life, will do just about anything for his kids. As an out of work Dad, his wife (played by Sally Fields) kicks him to the curb and he can no longer dote on his children. To stay close to them, he applies for the nanny job as Mrs. Doubtfire and is probably the best nanny ever! Great flick…

Jamie Farr as Maxwell Klinger in M*A*S*H was a curious choice. He wasn’t always playing a cross-dressing nutjob looking to get out of the Army through a Section 8 (mentally instable). Sometimes his character was just Maxwell Klinger, the fun loving corporal that eventually gives up his cross-dressing ways to get promoted to sergeant. He has to be included, though, since he was a big part of the INCREDIBLE success of this show.

Nathan Lane and Gene Hackman in Birdcage are as disturbing as it gets for this list. Nathan Lane is a natural at the cross-dressing thing and gives one of the best performances in drag – ever. But Hackman is all about manliness. He is brilliant in so many films and is such a legend; you never thought they could get him to do it. But there he was in all his cross-dressing glory for about 5 minutes on film. That was enough to make the list.

Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari in Bosom Buddies. The show was on for only 2 seasons and would never have made the list if not for a young Tom Hanks. Is there a better depiction of a modern day man fighting through adversity than his role in Castaway? He depicted true will to live, tenacity, intelligence, emotional stability and insatiability – guy had it all. Bosom Buddies was very funny and deserves a nod.

John Travolta in Hairspray. This was not John Travolta pre-Pulp Fiction. It was Travolta after resurrectinghis career as one of the true manly actors of our time. He has played in tons of roles that depict modern manliness well. For him to strap on the brazier and makeup to play this role in Hairspray, I am still trying to sort this out in my brain.

Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo in To Wong Fu. All fantastic actors and have played great manly parts in their day. The performances in this movie were so dragqueen real, I needed to turn it off after 10 minutes (the third time I saw it). Seriously, Lequizamo as Chi-Chi Rodriguez was way too real with the snapping of the fingers and true drag queen attitude.

The Wayans brothers in Whitechicks. The comedy doesn’t always sit right with a lot of people, but these are very good comedians. Their show In Living Color dominated the airwaves for a few years and was cutting edge. What put this performance on the list was the awe-inspiring makeup. I keep looking at the characters and trying to envision the Wayans, but simply can not. It may have been one big spoof and they weren’t really performing in drag at all.

Sorority Boys. Barry Watson, Michael Rosenbaum and Harland Williams play raunchy and stupid in this movie. It was a stretch to put them in the list since it was always very clear they were doing it for one reason, but nevertheless a good comedy. You have to be into this type of comedy, though, for it to make any sense.

Rudy Guiliani as himself. At a political roast 10 years ago, he appeared in drag and shocked New Yorkers (that alone put him on the list). The video was replayed a billion times when he ran for president earlier this year. The tough talking, extremely successful mayor did it for comedy and for fun and that gave him the nod. He then went on to do it again on SNL later that year. That pushed it from funny to pretty freaking weird.

You might be thinking “Where’s Dennis Rodman?” or “How about Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game?” Both of these cross-dressing exhibitions are classic and timeless. Plenty of notoriety and all kinds of disturbing. Problem with both of these are that they are a little too disturbing. Dennis Rodman dressed in drag too many times to be funny anymore and Jaye Davidson had nothing to do with comedy. Also, he was little too real to consider.

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10 Most Disturbing Cross-dressing Performances Of All Time

We men have all been there, though.  The time comes when we need to satisfy our woman’s craving for the softer things in life and watching a sensitive, caring, loving movie is a great way to score major points.

There always is a handsome fella that is usually so freaking caring and considerate, it completely makes our lives impossible.  The love story does its best to point out where we men fall short and allows our women to fantasize how they would love us to be.

Do the right thing fellas and don’t just sit through the movie and kill off 2 hours.  Make your woman proud and look for the areas where you can improve.  Also, look for any manly lessons you can pull from the movie.  They all have good ideas for sharpening up your manliness skills.

My top 10 chick flicks (in no particular order) with at least a little manliness included

Titanic

Released in 1997, unless you live in a cave in Torra Bora, you know about this movie.  Jack and Rose fall in love, but really shouldn’t since they come from different worlds.  Since we all know the fate of the Titanic, we know there must be heartbreak in the end.  Nobody even knew Jack existed, so we knew his fate was sealed.

What makes this one have a dash of manliness is the shear magnitude of the movie.  The special effects are world class and Jack has that panache about him that exhibits consistent manly behavior throughout.

When Harry Met Sally

In 1989, the world’s imagination was intrigued with Harry’s comment “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”  I remember having all kinds of debates with “friends” over this.  Doesn’t really matter where you stand on this issue, just the discussion presents plenty of entertainment.

The movie was incredible and gave us men the realization that women are pretty darn good at faking it when they want to.  For this scene alone, it is worth the time spent.

Thelma and Louise

Dubbed as a “chick flick” but it borders on being a manly film.  Intriguing and always entertaining.  Also, any film with Harvey Keitel is manly, period.  The Brad Pitt appearance is also worth the discussion.

The Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid type ending is yet another example of where they wanted to take this movie.  Worth the watch.

50 First Dates

Adam Sandler?  I know, this one is a stretch, but an incredible movie nonetheless.  Finding new and imaginative ways to win her over every single day puts this romantic comedy in the list.  Dr. Allan over at The Simple Marriage Project has to love this movie for this reason and so do I.

These two have INCREDIBLE chemistry in my book.  They were amazing in The Wedding Singer as well.

Ghost

I must have seen this movie a dozen times with my wife.  Each time she cries, so I know it is a chick flick classic.  What intrigues me is the thought of afterlife.

The other manliness stuff comes in the form of putting things right when Sam, (dead guy played by Swayze), figures out a way to whack Willie and Carl.  They deserved it and took the elevator down because of it.

Pretty Woman

Nobody dies or there is no dark tragedy here to make you bawl at the end.  Just good old pure romantic comedy that chick flicks are born from.  It is the oldest story around:  prostitute meets rich guy; rich guy falls for prostitute; rich guy “rescues” prostitute from her life and makes her a princess.

The manly portion here is a reach, but whenever there is a ruthless corporate raider involved, it makes sense.  Also, when Jason Alexander (George in Seinfeld) plays a scumbag, it makes the cut….nice…

Dirty Dancing

This movie is corny and has moments of bad acting sprinkled throughout.  But again, as I watch it for the 100th time, I can’t help but find myself intrigued in how it all plays out.

I have to stretch to find anything manly about this movie, but here it goes…”Nobody puts my Baby in the corner.”  There is also The Fountainhead reference by the rich punk kid.  Has to be included in the mix.

Knocked Up

Seth Rogan as Ben is a classic early 20′s underachiever.  Nothing terribly manly about this guy, but in the end, finds out how to become a man and do the right thing.

His tirade voice mail he leaves for the doctor who went on vacation and stiffed Katherine Heigl’s character, Allison, was epic.  It breaks all the voice mail rules of manliness, but who cares?…classic…

You’ve Got Mail

Was this a sequel to Sleepless In Seattle?  Nobody could ever tell me.  Of course it wasn’t, but it’s almost the exact same story with slightly different details. Doesn’t matter, it works.  They have that Sandler/Barrymore thing on screen that makes us all pull for them getting together.

Manliness?  He lives on a boat in the harbor and has a really cool dog.  Good enough…

What Women Want

Mel Gibson has manliness all about him in pretty much all of his flicks.  We just see all his warts as well in today’s 24/7/365 news cycles.  This movie is well put together, well acted, and Helen Hunt plays the perfect balance to Mel’s womanizing character, Nick Marshall.

The manly factor of this flick is essentially all the way until the turning point.  As a classic womanizer, he uses his new found skills of being able to hear what women are thinking for what he does best – land hot chicks in bed.  This is every guy’s fantasy, but of course this loses its luster.  He does the right thing in the end and finds out what kind of man he really is.

Honorable mentions

Stranger Than Fiction.  Awesome movie.  When he admits that he needs to die to save the incredible tragedy book’s plot, it absolutely crushed me.  During the flick, he learns to play the guitar, goes after a woman that really could be his soul mate, and saves a kid’s life.  This should have made the list more I think about it.

Gone With The Wind.  Not much else needed to say other than look at the title.  Everyone knows the line and knows the movie.  A pure classic romance.  Anything this classic is manly.

The Bridges of Madison County.Good movie and has Clint Eastwood in it.  Anything with Eastwood is manly.  I am not even going to entertain the argument that it is not.

Stepmom.My wife cries every time she even thinks about this movie.  It gets mentioned for this fact alone, but still a decent flick nonetheless.

Which movies would you have included on this list?  My wife (and I) would love to know.

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Top 10 Chick Flicks With A Dash Of Manliness

First of all, we all want to be Vincent-like.  Not exactly like him, but his ninja-like verbal ease is second to none and we all want to emulate his confidence.

Now, there are hundreds of PUA (Pick Up Artist) experts with unique styles for picking up a woman.  I address them in detail in other posts, but my immediate focus is on conversation we can use on the upcoming first date or first encounter – beyond the the pick up stage.

Speaking to a woman can be easy. Most of us, though, struggle with this EXTREMELY important skill all our lives.  Some are Vincent- like and we want to be like him. We want ways of conversation to flow from our being and make it effortless.

But most men will never achieve this legendary coolness, but we do need help getting some of the way there – especially on that first date. Remember, the key to success in this area is one of the key manliness traits: Try To Be Interesting, But Always Be Interested. The other manliness trait: Treat The Person Who Is Speaking As The Most Important Person In The Room, is also an important one.

Here is a decent list of first timers and I am sure you can come up with plenty more.

Avoid her past!
A real man would never ask about past lovers or past personal stuff on a first date. This should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). You want her to start with a clean slate. You want her to know that you are what all men should be – forget about the ones that broke her heart or made her felt used. You want her to focus on the here and now.

Traveled anywhere special?
I love this one to fire up a girl’s interest. Asking her about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future will help put her into a VERY good state of mind. Don’t offer to take her away next weekend to the place she mentions – this will only make you look somewhat stalker-like. Simply look for common ground and this will keep the conversation going for a long time.

Got any brothers or sisters?
A safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings. Shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t ask her if she has any cute sisters. Also, stay away from asking about her parents, unless she brings up the topic. There are all kinds of ways this could backfire. Sisters and brothers, though, usually trigger good feelings and score points for you since you’re showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.

What are you drinking? What else do you like?
A topic of conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drinks she likes. Feeding a woman and providing for her is not only chivalrous, but also a key to getting the blood pumping. For a lot of women, good food and drink is an aphrodisiac and a good topic of conversation. Potential topics here are endless.

Tell me a little about your friends.
Asking her about her friends is awesome. We know she could talk about her friends all night. It’s easy, comfortable and safe. She will love to tell you about her circle, how much they mean to her and where she met them (and all of the things they do together).

Any career plans?
Asking a girl about her education and what she intends on discovering next in her professional life can backfire, but it’s mostly safe. She might love to go on and on about her numerous achievements, but she also might break down and admit that her current job sucks and is not what she wants to be doing long-term. In either case, the man is provided with a golden opportunity to reassure and encourage with an abundance of compliments.

How’s your job?
Don’t let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life – this is a buzz kill. Just show her you are interested and you can relate. If she loves her job, then you will have plenty of discussion in front you. If she hates it, then talk about great she is and changing things are certain to be easy.

What do you like to do in your free time?
Does she have any hobbies? Does she like to work out? What the hell does she do to stay so freaking hot? (use that one cautiously and sparingly) What about sports? What kind of music does she like? Does she like to shop? What are some of her favorite stores? All of these can lead to hours of good stuff, but again, you must show you are genuinely interested.

What do you like to do on the weekends?
This one is the best. The weekends define who we are and if we were to have a bunch of free time, exactly how we would chose to spend it. Stay away from hypothetical’s and dreaming. Focus on the hobbies and how to “recharge the batteries”.

Be bold and look ahead
After you have spent a few hours demonstrating to her you can listen and you have genuine interest, look for the body language that invites you to step up. If positive, talk about what would be cool the next time you get together. You don’t want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she’s enjoying herself, chances are she’ll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.

As a man, take charge of your time with her. This is a turn on for women. They want to know you can handle yourself in any situation and simple conversation is one of those. Talking and conversation is considered foreplay for women and you need to be prepared in order to be successful.

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Top 10 First Date Conversations

David Wygant wrote this excellent post on phone rules in dating. David is one of those PUA (Pick Up Artist) bloggers I feel are a joke, but he is a classy alternative who simply just wants to help us guys be more successful with women.  His comparison to the business world is spot on.  I just wonder why so many of us lose our brains when it comes to cellphone use in this manner.

My take on the 5 rules – Return To Manliness style.

5 PHONE RULES THAT MEN SHOULD FOLLOW WHEN DATING

Be Prompt When They’re Prompt
The experts say if a woman calls you within 24 hours, you should give them the same courtesy. Don’t play games.  Waiting around to make her “want you more”.  Don’t be that guy.  There will be plenty of time to show how much of an a$$hole you can be – but later.  Be a gent and be courteous – call her back to give her something to tell her friends about.

Men who have the most success always give women their full attention and respect. It’s not only the right thing, but works the best – usually a cornerstone in manliness.

Look, everyone is busy.  You do NOT have to call everyone back the second you get the message. It’s not game playing – it’s life.  But call back in a timely fashion and don’t give the rest of us good guys a bad name.

If They Waited, You May Also Wait
Men want control of the situation and especially their time. If the woman has decided to slow down, you need to oblige.  Coming across too strong or needy does indeed make you look weak.

And there is nothing worse for your chances with her than looking weak in this regard.  Vulnerable, women love.  Weak, I’m pissed to even think about it.

It’s OK To Call Back Right Away
David nails this one. Don’t buy the hype from the jackholes residing in crazytown. It does NOT look desperate to call her back right away. If you like her and the feeling is mutual, then communicate it.

Tell her you’re not smart enough to play the games and you knew she didn’t have time for that crap as well.  Tell her the game-playing is for the normal dating, but she is worth being treated different – yup, that completely works.  Essentially, be a freaking man about it.

You Can’t Manipulate Someone Into Liking You
Well, not always true.  I like the concept, but its OK to manipulate someone into liking you from time to time. Successful people have done this for years and will continue.

Is it produce long-term results? No.  But if you are just dating and know its going to be a short-term thing, go for it.  Does this play with her/his feelings? yes, but again, that’s life. I don’t like it anymore than the next good guy, but it happens and many times we do it without even knowing it.

Being Busy Is No Excuse
No crap!  We are all multi-tasking nowadays and being “too busy” just says you’re a dick.  Sometimes, it can work as a reason, but do it at your own risk.

Not an exhaustive list of ensuring your cellphone habits for dating works, but at least follow these and give yourself the best chance possible.

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5 Phone Rules In Dating Everyone Ought To Know