If you choose to be unemployed, you may find this article not as relevant at the beginning. However, you will find it poignant at some point during your self-imposed sabbatical. This article is written for those of us that did not choose to be unemployed. It was out of our hands and now have to make the best of it.

I have never been unemployed before. It was a HUGE adjustment. Imagine going 100 miles per hour for 20+ years and then nothing. The only thing I’ve experienced that comes close to the feeling is finding out your mate has not been faithful. You go from “everything is great” to the “world has ended”.

I am certain this is the same feeling people get when they retire. It’s like driving along in your car and suddenly, unexpectedly getting hit by another vehicle. You take the drive, the car, the action for granted – then your entire perspective on everything, literally everything, changes instantly. It certainly shakes things up.

This article focuses on 5 effects of unemployment men often take for granted. I am sure there are many more, of course, but these 5 aspects of manliness were affected greatly during my layoff. My intent on discussing this is not to tell you how to deal with your situation – everyone is different. Also, AoM did a fantastic job in identifying a plan, albeit obvious ideas, which we all need to remind ourselves of during unemployment.

What you lose as a man

Responsibility - Some guys might like the idea of being unemployed. I won’t pass judgment on anyone, but for me, not providing for my family or myself through productive work is the polar opposite of manliness. Accepting that responsibility is a core manliness trait. When you do not have gainful employment, a sense of responsibility is lost.

It is only human to fall into a mode of less responsibility. We tend to look at the greater economy or some outside factor that has caused this situation and then turn to others to help out (namely the government). When we start getting handouts/charity/whatever you want to call it, our level of responsibility in our own minds often slides. It can be a vicious circle that men have to be extremely careful.

Sense of purpose – All humans need to be loved, accepted and respected. It is a human emotion and a need – not a want. Having a sense of purpose is an affect of these three human needs. When you lose your job, as a man, it puts a huge dent in this effort.

Men, in general, relate to this much more than women. We identify who we are as men by what we do for a living. Think about that. Men often shape and carve their personalities, friends, colleagues, after work activities, and much more based solely on what they do for a living. When we lose this core foundation of our identity, it crushes our manly egos and our manliness takes a serious hit.

Dignity - Webster defines dignity as the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed. It simply does not matter if you chose to be unemployed or it was chosen for you – you will at some point lose a portion of your dignity. It may be all so slight or even at a subconscious level, but it will happen.

In my case, I became unemployed not by my own decision. It simply happened. My sense of worth and the idea of not being needed any more was a huge blow to my ego. The company did not make it so I know there were other factors at play, but it still forces one to think about their value.

Money - I have always subscribed to the notion that I would not work if I didn’t need the cash. I now know that statement to be only partially true. I need the cash, but this little episode in my life has taught me that I would continue to work regardless if I needed it or not. The work might be completely different, but having an affect in people’s lives and making my own life worthwhile through meaningful work is as core to me as being a man itself. The compensation for my time and production is an essential part of the equation for obvious reasons – my family and my other habits/vices.

Testosterone - This is often overlooked in this predicament. We all know the pitfalls of the obvious – self worth; sense of purpose; responsibility; dignity; etc. However, men thrive on competition, the chase and eventually the battle. Over time, men have tried to suppress this inherent need, but it is in our DNA. Being unemployed has affected my level of manliness in ways I am embarrassed to discuss, but do so to ensure other guys don’t feel alone in this regard.

Being unemployed has wreaked havoc on my sex life and my ability to perform in competitive situations. All men, married or not, live for the chase. The chase is in constant play and testosterone is a key ingredient. Women (and specifically sex) are the prize. My wife has noticed the difference and it is clear I’ve lost an edge in our relationship. Also, in all my sporting activities, it has become much less important to win and compete than in times past.

Cause vs. Symptom

Living without meaningful work and employment is a cause of this lost manliness. The other items listed in this article are symptoms. This is a very important distinction we men who are faced with this issue have to distinguish.

There will be people who don’t agree with me, but gainful employment and sense of purpose is the root cause of how we feel during this time. It is not a symptom of deeper rooted issues or something that happened during our childhood. That is an excuse in my opinion.

My friend said it best as I was contemplating a few offers recently. I was splitting hairs and trying to justify my thoughts around these offers. He stepped up as all good friends would and said, “Shut up and get a freaking job! You need to take care of your family and get your edge back. It is MUCH easier to find the right job when you already have one.”

This doesn’t work for everyone, but it sure resonates for me.

If you have any thoughts or differing opinions, leave a comment. I would love to hear them.

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The Effects Of Unemployment On Men And Their Manliness

Where things break down with today’s experts is there is a different exercise for every muscle in your body. They want you to “isolate” the muscle for maximum workout. They want you to alternate between muscle groups on different days and workout every single day.

Who has time for that? We need exercises that are going to work muscles and get us tired – at the same time. We need an exercise that is going to work out several, dozens even, of muscles. We need an exercise we can do quick, fast, cheap, and does the job so well we come back wanting more.

We need the burpee!

The burpee is the most perfect exercise known to mankind and let me tell you why – it works out every single aspect of your body; you will be out of breath after only a couple; you don’t need a single piece of equipment to perform it; it can be done in a very confined space; and finally, every elite military force in the world couldn’t be wrong.

From prisoners to prisoners of war to elite fighting forces to elite athletes – ask them about the burpee and they know its secret powers. They know this one exercise, combined with a few others, is all one needs to accomplish your fitness needs.

How to perform a burpee

The excellent folks over at BodyBuilding.com provided this amazing information for us to learn about the burpee. Ross Enamait explains in great detail how to perform a burpee and different variations to make it more challenging (as if it needs it). However, here is a summary of the process:

1. Begin in a squat position with hands on the floor in front of you
2. Kick your feet back to a push up position
3. Immediately return your feet to the squat position
4. Leap up as high as possible from the squat position
5. Repeat, moving as fast as possible

You should maintain a fast pace for this exercise. Strive for maximum height with each jump. Most athletes will average between 12 and 15 repetitions per 30 seconds.

Ross’s different variations are not for the faint of heart. I have been doing these exercises for two weeks now and have yet to be able to get past 2 sets of 10. However, I am combining this exercise with a few others which probably makes it harder for me to advance, but the burpee does not require much alteration to be completely effective.

For those who want to display their true burpee manliness, follow Ross’s link to his Ultimate Burpee section. Excellent if you want to blow chunks as part of your workout routine. I am not there yet, but I like the idea of working out so hard, I hurl.

Here is a video that shows the entire motion in sequence.

Other exercises to round out the perfect, fast workout are as follows.

Remember, the criteria to be included in this list is fast, cheap, does the job quickly, works out several muscle groups, and has staying power.

Running/Walking
This is the best cardio exercise in the world. Next time you are around someone that’s served our country, ask them about boot camp and getting into shape. Ask them if they did any running while getting in shape. They first will laugh and say, “oh yeah” and then tell you they got in some of the best shape of their lives while doing it. AND, there is nothing that will get you in shape faster.

If running is not your thing, then walking does the trick. I have seen studies where they say walking is actually better for you than running. It might be better on the joints and back, but I am not sure how you could burn more calories.

Push ups
Same deal with running. Ask that soldier if they had to do any push ups. Push ups are the answer to whole upper body workout. If done correctly, they will blow up your arms (biceps and triceps), explode your chest, and work every muscle in your upper body. Many variations help with joint protection, but if you do the push up, and do a lot of them, you get AMAZING results…fast…

Sit ups
That’s right. I said it. Sit ups. Not crunches. Not some wheelie thingie. Not some palates move that isolates. Sit ups. These things have been around for decades and the full sit up (along with variations) work out all kinds of muscles in the abdominal area. When you get to the top of the sit up and work your way back down to the ground, you are using balancing muscles as well as all your abdominal muscles to control the entire movement. Nice.

Squats
Bodybuilding.com ranked this is the number one exercise for calisthenics.  This works so many muscles in your legs, you will be shocked to feel how crappy you feel afterwards (crappy in a good way, though). The biggest surprise for me was the amount of pressure these put on my hamstrings. I know they are working out the quads (front of your legs) but the backside as well? These are very good for several muscle groups.  I have heard of guys (pro athletes) doing 1000 squats a day during training camps. Now that is amazing.

There are some other moves and activities that do just as well as the ones mentioned, but they cost more or need some kind of apparatus to perform. Exercises like the pull up, lunge, riding a bike, bench press, dips, and running stairs all fit the mold of working out several muscle groups while wanting to make your hurl in the process.

There is no excuse not to do the exercises laid out above other than laziness or injury. These exercises are natural; their fast; their effective; their ever changing with your ability to run variations off them; and most of all, they are as manly as heck!

If you don’t have time for all of them, then start out with The Cheapest, Hardest, Baddest, Most Manly Exercise Nobody Ever Does – the burpee.

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The Cheapest, Hardest, Baddest, Most Manly Exercise Nobody Ever Does

Long before Chuck Norris, Jet Li and the Ultimate Fighting Championship – there was The Master. His physique and physical prowess was (and IS) what legends are made of. Just one look at his photos or movies and you know the extreme discipline it took to pull off those moves.

His physical exploits are so legendary in the world of martial arts that when it came time for him to make movies, EVERYONE wanted to make a name for themselves by taking a run at him. Imagine trying to act, produce and being “the freaking man” while every guy opposite you in a fight scene is acting only SOME of the time!

To stay at the very top of the martial arts world for over 20 years (on and off the set), Bruce Lee had masterful stretching and flexibility skills. Besides wicked physical strength, freakish cardio ability, and speed only replicated by machines – flexibility and agility were his top priorities.

Consider some of his unequaled feats:

• Lee’s striking speed from three feet with his hands down by his side reached five hundredths of a second
• Lee’s combat movements were at times too fast to be captured on film at 24fps, so many scenes were shot in 32fps to put Lee in slow motion. Normally martial arts films are sped up
• In a speed demonstration, Lee could snatch a dime off a person’s open palm before they could close it, and leave a penny behind
• Lee could perform push ups using only his thumbs
• Lee performed one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger
• Lee would hold an elevated v-sit position for 30 minutes or longer
• Lee could throw grains of rice up into the air and then catch them in mid-flight using chopsticks
• From a standing position, Lee could hold a 125 lb (57 kg) barbell straight out
• Lee could break wooden boards 6 inches (15 cm) thick
• Lee performed a side kick while training with James Coburn and broke a 150-lb (68 kg) punching bag
• Lee could cause a 300-lb (136 kg) bag to fly towards and thump the ceiling with a side kick
• In a move that has been dubbed “Dragon Flag”, Lee could perform leg lifts with only his shoulder blades resting on the edge of a bench and suspend his legs and torso perfectly horizontal midair
• Lee could thrust his fingers through unopened steel cans of Coca-Cola, at a time before cans were made of the softer aluminum metal
• Lee could use one finger to leave dramatic indentations on pine wood

Each and every one of these demonstrations of his ability involved strength, agility and, yes, flexibility. We can never hope to reach his level of success in these, nor do I think anyone really wants to (although putting your fingers through a can of Coke would be a neat party trick).

Improving our own flexibility, though, has many benefits. For instance, a flexible body means we can defend ourselves in a bar fight; have better sex; fight obesity with more exercise; sleep better; have more fun playing with our kids; work more efficiently; constantly feel refreshed; improve posture; relieve tension; and possibly cure cancer! (not sure on the last one, but it improves everything else, so why not?)

And the key to a flexible body is proper stretching. Many of us want the basics of getting it without having to do Yoga or, much worse, Pilates – both of which are awesome if you have the time, but most of us don’t.

Tips for stretching prowess to help improve flexibility

1. Stretch when you wake up. Start the day off by loosening up all the joints and shake off the previous night’s exploits. Whatever you did yesterday put the body in a real kind of hurt and you need to do something right away. Grab your morning beverage and start a 10 minute stretching routine first thing in the morning. Your body will thank you for it all day long.
2. Warm up first. Many guys think stretching IS the warm up exercise for whatever else they plan to do. Not true. Make sure to warm up a little by jumping rope, running in place, or doing some jumping jacks to get the blood moving first. If you perform some Bruce-like stretches without getting the blood moving first, injuries will be on their way.
3. Target major muscle groups. Just like other manly workouts, don’t focus on the little muscles. Target large, major muscle groups and all the little muscles will get stretched out in the process. It’s much better use of your time going after the majors first and then focusing on the minors later if you have time.
4. Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds. Doing this enables the muscle to continue to expand over time without injury. Even if you are barely stretching at the beginning, holding it for 30 seconds tells the muscle you mean business. Next time you will be able to take it further, longer.
5. Become a rubber band. Bouncing as you stretch only shocks the muscle and can cause serious injury. Besides, it looks stupid. Think of your muscles like rubber bands. You want to slowly stretch it out – taking it a little further each time. Only taking it as far as the muscle wants it to go – not beyond.
6. No pain, serious gain. When you bounce instead of rubber band, you often will go too far. If the muscle is not ready to go that far (due to rigamortis setting in from your seriously boring day job), then you will either here a “pop” and start crying like a little schoolgirl or just start crying. Either way, if it hurts – STOP! Learn to listen to your body and understand it takes time to get a Bruce Lee-flexible.
7. Breathe. Blood flow and oxygen are the two core ingredients to muscle flexibility and stretching. You get the blood moving by doing the stretch, but if you forget to put plenty of oxygen into your system, you will not get the full effect. Better still is to focus your mind on the muscle and at the same time focus on breathing. Together, your mind will allow you to do things you didn’t think possible with your flexibility.
8. Have fun. You will stop after a few minutes or a few days if you are not digging it. Remember it is not a chore. Remind yourself of the positive affects this will have on your life. Think of the benefits of being able to reach some other guy’s head with your foot or better yet, work and hold a position your wife or girlfriend never thought you could.
9. Be careful. Once you start seeing the amazing benefits of being as flexible as Bruce Lee, you will want more. Guys have been known to take it a little too far with addiction-like behavior. Make it a part of your life by doing a little bit everyday and you will get there before you know it. Injuries suck and they will set you back. Addictions suck too and you don’t want to get burned out – you want this flexible body for life.
10. Be consistent. The routine of stretching will lead to flexibility you have only dreamed of. Your body will start craving it and when others start seeing what you are capable of with your new found flexible prowess, you will want to ratchet it up. Remember that consistency is what made Bruce Lee so freaking good. Anyone at the top of their profession will tell you that anyone can get lucky once or twice, but the real pros are consistently in the mix.
11. Rest it up. Make sure to give the muscles a rest from time to time. Stretch different muscles on alternating days and this will give them the rest they need to go even further next time out.

The definition of flexibility is to easily bend an object or the ability to adapt to different circumstances. Isn’t this what most of us men want in our lives? The thought of being flexible (in all aspects of our lives) is at the core of manliness.

The thought of throwing a round house kick at some guy’s head or getting out of a rear naked choke are really cool, but having everyday physical flexibility is what most of us are after. Getting the perfect stretch and doing it every day is how we can achieve a Bruce Lee like flexible body.

Some links to proper stretching.
Bodybuilding.com
Men’s Health
Ask Men

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How To Stretch And Be As Flexible As Bruce Lee

When you’re in a bar, pub or nightclub, the fist fight morphs into a bar fight – they’re not the same.  Fist fights outside or in an open area are quite different than bar fights found in very close quarters.  There are all kinds of variables in a bar fight that you simply don’t find in a fist fight.

When all diplomacy fails, or even worse, the fight has nothing to do with you but you’re in the blast range, follow these guidelines and you will have a chance to get out of there without too much damage or ending up in the back of a police car on the TV show Cops.

• Take a few steps back.  Create some space so you have time to look for advantages.  There are all kinds of advantages you can choose from if you have the time.  This gives you a second to find a potential weakness or a way out.
• Back to the wall.  Contrary to popular belief, your back to the wall can actually help.  No one will sneak up behind and bust a chair over your head.  But if you put your back to the wall, you better know your next move.
• Make yourself small.  Small targets are harder to hit.  Crouch down a little and turn to the side narrowing your body.  Also, you want to ensure you don’t leave your groin exposed, so bend the legs and turn to the side.
• Kick to the groin.  Give a short, quick kick or knee the guy about to swing.  If he’s left his stance wide open, which most beer guzzling novices will do, they will go down VERY quick.
• Take off your glasses.  Easy one if you have the time – often you don’t.  Take these off if you can’t afford the cost to replace, but also, if broken on your face, will leave HUGE cuts.
• Use gravity.  If you are bigger guy like me, you can use your body weight to bring a guy down to the floor.  One more thing, you might want to make sure you are on top.
• Elbow to the head.  Elbows are terribly effective for close quarter encounters.  Many times, you simply don’t have room for a punch.  The elbow can be thrown from just about any position and if done correctly, can be way worse than a punch.
• Throw short fast punches.  You don’t have a bunch of room while inside a bar to throw the haymaker.  Use fast, short bursts and once you throw a few, take a step back to ensure counters don’t catch you.
• Uppercuts. Uppercuts.  Uppercuts.  These are very effective if the other guy wants to start grabbing at you.  He is trying to pull you in close and in doing so has his hands up high and stretched out.  Uppercuts can pack a huge wallop if done with conviction.
• Head butt.  Don’t do this if you think you don’t have a hard head.  I do, and am usually too stupid to feel the pain anyhow.  Beware of the other guy throwing one as well.  If you get eye to eye, this is what a lot of drunk guys like to do since it is glorified on TV.
• Grab a chair.  This puts distance between you and the other guy.  You are also sending a clear message you will take this thing to a whole other level if you have too.  Hopefully the other guy will simply back down and cooler heads can prevail.
• Everything is a weapon.  Glasses, cans, ashtrays, jackets, mugs, shoes, whatever you can get your hands on can help you in a bar fight.  Everything can be used to your advantage.
• Everything is a weapon.  Glasses, cans, ashtrays, jackets, mugs, shoes, whatever you can get your hands on can help you in a bar fight.  Everything can be used to the other guy’s advantage – so beware!!!
• Be careful with the head.  You don’t want to end up in prison for killing someone, so don’t go for the kill to the head.  Try to disable ONLY, long enough to get out of there.  Only go after the head as the last resort.
• Never break a bottle.  Using something to cut is the same as going after the head.  It always ends badly and usually never deters Mr. White Trash Alcoholic who wants to fight no matter what.  Again, just disable, disarm and get out.
• Don’t escalate.  You want to bring the situation to a head as quickly as you can and bring it back down right away.  End it quickly and leave.  Escalation leads to really bad things.
• Beware of others.  I know your budds have your back but try to leave them out of it.  Handle your own thing and hopefully the other guy’s fellas get the same memo.
• Beware of the bouncers.  If security comes to break it up, don’t fight them too.  Tell them you want to leave and you want no trouble.  There are usually way too many muscle heads just waiting for something like this to happen.  You could probably hold your own, but that is a losing proposition.  Remember Daltun in Road House?  Guys like this really exist and love their jobs.
• Do whatever the boys in blue tell you to do.  Once the police come, you do whatever they say.  You can NEVER fight with the cops.  They always have more friends than you do and you will lose!

I hope these were helpful.  I can’t remember the last time I found myself in this situation, but I am in enough bars and pubs to know it will happen again at some point.

Any good stories?  I would love to hear them in the Comments.

Don’t forget to sign up for the RSS Feed and get Teddy’s Autobiography that he wrote in 1913.  It is truly an amazing read.

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How To Protect Yourself In A Bar Fight