Comments on: The Effects Of Unemployment On Men And Their Manliness

By: esley

esley — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 21:40:33 +0000

I found this article to be honest and wonderfully profound. My boyfriend and I recently ended our relationship on very good terms because of his involuntary unemployment. He pushed me away. I didn’t understand why. Now I do. Thank You!

By: Mrs Moroccan

Mrs Moroccan — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:20:36 +0000

@ Pick Up Artist, work is work. Meaningful is meaningless after a certain point, when money is tight and times are tough. My husband (an immigrant) has been applying for job after job, but because it’s a time of high unemployment and there is a lot of anti-immigrant sentiment, it makes it even harder for him to find work. Something, whether meaningful or not, is better than nothing. It places a lot of strain on us, but we try to be positive as best we can.

By: Pick Up Artist

Pick Up Artist — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:59:42 +0000

Meaningul work is key… if it’s not meaningful I don’t care how much they pay me, it just ain’t happening.

By: gerovital romania

gerovital romania — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 18:55:48 +0000

it is capitalism that America loves?
right?

By: Todd

Todd — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 06:24:34 +0000

I have been unemployed for a little over 6 months. I can only speak for myself when I say that while online job searching is the least resourceful, many of the other tactics people suggest are easier said than done. “Why don’t you go out and pound the pavement?” right? Now imagine walking in cold to a business and asking to talk to someone about a possible job. It comes off as desperate and a little weird and your most likely response is, “Go to our website and fill out an application.” I have started networking, joined social groups, and called and asked my former employer for a job. I have yet to even get an interview. Your husbands need to try, but I really think that until you are in this situation, it is really hard to judge. Historically, we are in new territory. I cannot stress enough to you wives how much this affects your ego and security in your life and marriage as a man. We feel the need to provide, and you look for us to provide. We both know the deal. To not be able to handle that causes stress like you cannot imagine. Understand this, and tell them that you believe in them.

By: The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Man Cookbook Edition | The Art of Manliness

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 22:53:51 +0000

[...] The Effects of Unemployment on Men and Their Manliness (@ return to manliness) Kevin at Return to Manliness shares his experience with being unemployed and its effect on him. [...]

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 02:29:00 +0000

My husband lost his job of 11 years in 2005. Since then he has only worked temporary jobs. Like Deb’s husband, he has also only been looking online for jobs which is probably the least resourceful way to find a job.
He started back to school (free program) to upgrade his skill earlier his year but has failed to take the test.
Some of our biggest arguments have been about me not being understanding. From my perspective, how long do I hang in there with someone who is not giving their full effort. I feel like I’m the one supporting the family & he’s just “here”.
At this point, I think he is not really even looking for a job because of the fear of rejection.
This is a very frustrating process for both men and women.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 21:36:41 +0000

My husband has been unemployed 2 and 1/2 years. Initially, we did ok with me working and making ends meet. We were in the middle of buying a house. Then it fell thru with that whole Indie-Mac Bank thing. So we needed to relocate, and it had to be less expensive than where we were living at the time (a metropolitan city). So we moved to my hometown (a small city). Closer to family and friends who could help and just be there as support. I got a job, 40 mins. away from our rented apartment but the pay was good for the area. Still I made alot less and had to work more hours to make ends meet. He looked for jobs while on unemployment, and when that ran out, he stopped. He also stopped taking care of the apartment, and me. He’s home for our son, and does minimal tasks around the house, but the place is filthy. I’m exhausted. And my husband has lost the ability to function. He lies to me alot. I was just put on an antidepressant. And I’ll be starting counseling too. Him? Nothing. Nothing at all. I’m so stressed out all I can do is sleep, work and eat. Food is tasteless though, so no enjoyment there. We can’t take a vacation to get away. No money to do anything at all. No dinner out. No movies. Nothing. He told me he had a job offer recently, and told me he just had to set our son up in a daycare situation for after school, and he told me a whole bunch of BS to string me along a couple weeks, til today he said he didn’t have a job. And I was ready to shell out more money for childcare, when the so-called job existed. Truly believe he is depressed. But he won’t do anything about it. Money isn’t everything? Well, if this is him when times are tough, and he can’t be an equal partner doing something to be supportive in any little way he can…I might as well be a single mother. We’ve been married 11 years.

By: masradar

masradar — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 15:56:51 +0000

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By: Rob

Rob — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:00:06 +0000

The Atlantic Monthly stated “it’s unmistakably happening: in the long view, the modern economy is becoming a place where women hold the cards.”
I think men should start looking at the reasons why they constitute 80% of job losses during this recession. One of the major reasons is education discrimination. Many men whom lost their jobs have only a high school diploma. Most stable jobs now require a college degree.
However, men do not have equal access to college financial aid. There is more financial aid available to women than men. Additionally, the American education system is designed to promote girls into college while largely ignoring boys.
Lastly, the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that a worker with only a high school diploma is twice as likely to be unemployed than a person with a college degree. And this has been true since 1975.

source: Percentage College Men

Also, I don’t think commenter Deb said anything wrong. She simply wants her husband to have effort and hope. But you can’t have hope without effort.